SADLY...Three More Years

HELLO EVERYONE,

SADLY, IT HAS BEEN A WHILE SINCE I'VE WRITTEN ANYTHING AND I WILL PROBABLY BE USING THAT WORD SADLY A LOT. IT SEEMS THE PAROLE BOARD, WHO WERE SO ON OUR SIDE THE LAST FEW YEARS, HAS DECIDED THAT IT WOULD BE A GOOD IDEA THAT I DO THREE MORE YEARS.  NOT TO COME HOME IN THREE YEARS, BUT TO RETURN TO THE BOARD TO SEE IF THEY WILL LET ME COME HOME. SADLY THIS IS BEING PLAYED OUT OVER AND OVER WITH OTHER GUYS HERE TOO.THREE YEARS THIS TIME, MAYBE FIVE THE NEXT TIME. THEN, WHAM! TEN YEARS. A GUY THEN ENDS UP NEVER GETTING OUT, WITH ALREADY HAVING 30 YEARS IN, OR MAYBE 40 YEARS.

SADLY, I HAVE NO REAL POWER THERE.THEY DO WHAT THEY CHOOSE WHEN THEY CHOOSE. THEIR RATIONAL FOR THIS THREE YEARS WAS THAT I HAD AMASSED A SIGNIFICANT AMOUNT OF CONDUCT REPORTS AND THAT I FAILED TO DEMONSTRATE POSITIVE CHANGE.THEY ALSO STATED THAT DUE TO THE SERIOUS NATURE OF THE CRIME, MY RELEASE INTO SOCIETY WOULD CREATE UNDO RISK TO PUBLIC SAFETY. THAT MY RELEASE WOULD NOT FURTHER THE INTEREST OF JUSTICE OR BE CONSISTENT WITH THE WELFARE AND SECURITY OF SOCIETY. THEY BELIEVE THAT I WILL ENGAGE IN FURTHER CRIMINAL CONDUCT. 

YES, MY THOUGHT EXACTLY. SADLY, AFTER 35 YEARS IN HELL-31 OF THOSE YEARS SPENT ON DEATH ROW FOR A MURDER I DID NOT COMMIT, A MURDER THAT THE PAROLE BOARD ITSELF FOUND DOUBT WITH. THAT AFTER 50 DIFFERENT PROGRAMS BEING IN REINTEGRATION. AFTER BEING A PART OF EVERY HONOR STATUS PROGRAM AT EVERY PRISON I HAVE BEEN IN, INCLUDING DEATH ROW, BEING A MENTOR FOR TWO YEARS, BEING IN REINTEGRATION AFTER BECOMING A CERTIFIED PARALEGAL, A TUTOR, HELPING OTHERS GET THEIR G.E.D'S.HAVING NO VIOLENCE ON MY RECORD AGAINST STAFF OR INMATE, EVEN WHILE ON DEATH ROW THEY DECIDED I HAVE FAILED TO DEMONSTRATE POSITIVE CHANGE!

ALL THE GOOD I HAVE DONE DIDN'T MEAN ANYTHING AND SADLY I DON'T KNOW THAT IT EVER WILL.THEY NEVER EVEN MENTIONED THE FACT THAT I HAVE BEEN FIGHTING MY INNOCENCE ALL THESE YEARS AND THAT THEY THEMSELVES FOUND DOUBT TO THE FACT THAT I WASN'T THE PRINCIPAL OFFENDER, MEANING I WASN'T THE ONE WHO KILLED MR.LEACH.WHAT I HAVE BEEN TELLING EVERYBODY ALL THESE YEARS.

SADLY, I KNOW THEY WILL NEVER REALLY ACKNOWLEDGE THE FACT THAT I MAY BE INNOCENT, OR EVER APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT THE STATE OF OHIO DID TO CONVICT ME. SADLY, I WILL ALWAYS HAVE THIS STIGMA ON ME OF BEING A MURDERER AND HAVING TO HOPE THIS PAROLE BOARD ONE DAY LETS ME GO HOME. I THOUGHT THIS WAS THAT DAY AND NO MATTER HOW I FEEL ABOUT THIS, I KNOW I STILL HAVE TO DO THE RIGHT THING. I STILL HAVE TO GO ABOUT THE BUSINESS OF MAKING THE PAROLE BOARD SEE ME AS SOMETHING WORTHY OF LEAVING THIS HELL HOLE. AND I WILL.

THANK YOU FOR LISTENING.GOD BLESS AND KEEP YOU ALL.

YOURS TRULY,

ARTHUR

Changes We Don't Ask For

It has been a while since I last had a chat with you all.

For all you who don't know, I lost my job as Mentor at the Reception Center in Lorain where I mentored inmates before they were assigned their prison. I also was sent to the Richland  prison in Mansfield. This was a job I was really good at. I used to not think so until I got to the prison I'm now in. I did influence a lot more guys than I felt. A lot of the guys remembered me and my arrival here has been great. In the last week I have run into and been embraced by a lot of the guys that came here after my class. Everyone of them remembered Mr.T., so I did touch a lot of these guys with my story. 

For those who are wondering, no I didn't lose my job for doing something wrong. One of the staff there felt the need to show me who is in charge and that what she says goes. As a mentor one of the perks was that your level would be dropped when your tour was done. My tour was actually over last year, but they started a new thing when it came time that you would have to do two years before you are reviewed. To drop levels just means that you go to somewhere less secure with a better, more trusting situation. So they asked for another year. I agreed with the promise that when my review came due I would be recommended for a lower level.

I went up in November and my case manager recommended that my level be dropped from level two to level one. Then we changed case managers and a new girl came in. After three months had passed, I asked if she would check and see what was going on with my review as I hadn't heard anything. When she pulled up my file we found out that after the other case manager sent it to staff, no one turned it in to Columbus Central office. So they had to re-do it. When this woman did my review she decided she would not recommend that my level be dropped. She was leaving me a level two. I asked why when I had put my two years in? Her answer,and I quote,"We are not recommending you for level one because it would look bad for the prison to allow you with just four years off death row to go to our less secure prison. You have to do some more time in level 2." I asked if I could have the appeal forms because anyone has the right to appeal any decision made on your behalf. It was like I insulted her for challenging her decision. Her exact words were, "Oh you don't get it, huh?" Three days later a transfer to Richland had been approved. 

My attorney contacted the Columbus Central Office to find out why I was being transferred and was told it was because I told the prison I no longer wanted to be a Mentor and they couldn't leave me at Lorain. Was this wrong? Of course because I never asked to be transferred. But I now have a grand idea of how egos work. And I know not to brush anyone the wrong way again. This woman felt the need to make me pay for challenging her decision.

An inmate has no real rights. It's do what they say, right or wrong. Period. They can affect things to go so wrong. I never said I didn't want to be a mentor anymore, but technically requesting to have my level dropped was saying I no longer wanted to be level two. But you know it's funny how things work. She thought she was punishing me, but I can thank her for this because I have more opportunities here to be an informal mentor, to teach classes, and participate in all the programs available.  I'm already on the ground running.This is another prison setting, but I will, as always, make it work for me. Thank you...You did me justice.

New Year-New You?

Greetings all,

It's been a while since our last chat, so here I am. A new year, a new place in time, and for most of you, a new you. I always wondered why most of us think with a new year there has to be a new you. As if last year's you wasn't good? Being better is good, but just being you is best I think.

I did well with everything this last year. My anger, my patience, my giving. I picked up on daily Bible reading, and praying and meditating. My "Anger, Power, Violence and Drugs" class is going great. More about that another time! And I have the best of friends. I liked the last year me!

The biggest thing to happen in 2017 was the parole board's decision. They again recommended that I be eligible for parole, which I thought would have me home by now. So, in this year I do hope to be home, just as me, because the me I am now is a really good me!

When I look back and examine my life, I'm as rich as I can get. I have so many of my needs and wants, other than my freedom, met. I have a love for people and people have a love for me. I have God front and center. All that's left is to come home and do all I plan to do. See, I made my big change long ago. I don't have to change with each coming year, I just need to do what I'm suppose to do, and embrace the riches already in my life.

I was asked when I find myself taking one step forward and two steps back, how do I recommit to the path I know I want to be on? Easy. I just never take one step forward, without looking to see if there is a possibility that something could stop my progress for a moment. Had I done so, I wouldn't be where I am now. 

I trust all is well with everyone. I hope and pray my next blog will be from the outside rather than the inside.

Have a beautiful day.

Yours,
Arthur